By Kavita A Chhibber
April 22 2025 was a very difficult day for not just the innocent tourists who lost their lives and those who were injured, but for many of us who belong to the state of Jammu and Kashmir and have happy memories that are hard to reconcile with what happened recently.
I read that this was the was the biggest attack on civilians since 2008.
As stories and interviews with those who survived the attack have started emerging, it is heartbreaking and becoming personal. When you put face to face and hear and see the pain and suffering, it is obvious they are part of humanity, and all of us.
It brings us again to the question: why is all this happening? People says it’s Islam, but what about the Christians and the Hindus who led wars and indulged in violence?
As I am reading reports and watching videos, I realize that all of us are seeking what resonates with us.
There are those who are spewing hatred and venom inciting others on social media. There are others who have a voice of calm and reason and then there is a vast majority that is quiet.
Allegations and finger pointing has begun.
I saw an interview with a young Hindu Kashmiri man from Kashmir in the aftermath of the Pahalgam tragedy where the young man says the terrorism we see in the valley is mostly homegrown. The young man addressed parents who make their innocent children embrace division and not unison, to think about the repercussions.
I will say this now, and I’m sure military records can show this, but when my father was military attaché in Afghanistan in the 1970s, he made a special trip to Delhi to speak to the then Prime Minister Indira Gandhi. He tried to warn her of schools where Muslim kids were being misled and that there were similar things happening with Hindu kids. He predicted that there would be major problems in the future.
And from what I have heard from Dad, that warning was not taken seriously.
Education is so important, and positive reinforcement is so important for young and innocent minds.
My father always said all religions promote the same thing – peace, empathy, inclusion. Human beings twist it to suit their political convenience.
When it came to politics, the Indian army did not interfere with executive decisions.
A handful of loudmouth politicians, and capital punishment for perpetrators, are not the answer to crimes committed against humanity.
Terror attacks worldwide and in India, even the Nirbhaya case in India, have taught us that much. Explosions that have killed innocent people around the world are not limited to a particular race or religion. And they keep on repeating themselves.
Most people are scrambling just to take care of their own needs and struggles. And we are all an ostrich in the sand until it happens to us.
But justice takes forever and everything is politicized, and the blame game begins.
I was told in a matter-of-fact way by a Spiritual Master that every civilization has pockets of peace and pockets of violence and destruction.
And in cases like these, people were just in the wrong place at the wrong time.
“The fact that you can never take security in Kashmir lightly and that there was maybe complacence and lack of accountability by the government, didn’t that cross your mind?”
He shrugged his shoulders.
I told him I realized at that moment that, not just authority figures, but all of us. We are all complacent and apathetic in one way or another. The day we become inclusive and help each other, the day we do not let a handful of people we sometimes vote into power mindlessly turn us into a blind herd, things may change.
He replied, “Here and elsewhere, despite differences of opinion, if you become Indians first and Hindu, Muslims, etc., later, you will not need people like me. But it’s easier said than done.”
He is right because EGO is a far more destructive weapon than anything else we have on planet earth. Look around you and you will know what I mean.
I am still struggling with mine and I am just a speck in the grand scheme of things.
Think of those in position of power, busy playing God. Heads of state, heads of Businesses, even heads of Spiritual organizations.
And innocent lives are lost.
If anything, we should be teaching and practicing communal harmony. Easier said than done. Yes, I know.
But it does not stop me from praying for peace, empathy and inclusion, right decisions, interactions that help us help each other.
So, it was heartening that on a short notice, with love and respect, a vigil was organized at Marlborough by the Foundation of Indian-Americans – New England (FIA-NE).
For me this has been a tough few days. I was born and raised for a large part in Jammu and my mother’s family is from Jammu and Kashmir.
The happiest memories of my childhood and adulthood are in the mountains, rivers, and valleys of the state of Jammu and Kashmir. And of the love I received from Hindus, Muslims and Sikhs growing up. Our entire neighborhood was one big family.
It was a weekday on the 24th of April and yet it was heartwarming to see people, both Americans and those of us of South Asian origin, come together, to pray to chant for peace.
There is anger, there is deep sadness, there are feelings that this tragedy was avoidable.
But only grace and empathy can begin the healing process. And like attracts like.
I am grateful that the conversations around Ajit and I were respectful and positive. It is absolutely okay to disagree, but it is never okay to be disrespectful.
Feelings of loss must never be accompanied by vindictiveness, vendetta because it serves no purpose.
Again, easier said than done. But it is something I have realized over a period of time.
The focus must be on steps that need to be taken so that this does not happen again.
I saw so many good people who could have stayed home after a long workday. But they came. I hope we can do that in larger numbers and more often. To have real conversations in person.
That is bound to create the change we are all seeking to make this world a better place.