“I want to be known as some one who tried her best.”
By Kavita A Chhibber
Kavita’s Note: I first met Dr. Manju Sheth over a decade ago after moving to Massachusetts. What struck me was her warmth, humility, sensitivity and sense of humor.
I also saw someone who worked incredibly hard at making others feel comfortable, and after I started attending some of the events hosted by her, how detail oriented, and equally committed she was at giving the events a 110 percent. Manju has a distinguished resume that is a mile long and she has a reputation of being accomplished at so many things from medicine to media to selfless community service. However, I think if I was to describe her two passions it would be motherhood and empowering women.
It’s funny that I wanted to be a physician and Manju a journalist. But we’ve both managed to create dual careers in healing modalities and in the media. I had been thinking of creating a womens forum to honor inspiring women, but Manju beat me to it with her incredible platform “Women Who Win”, which she created as she said in her TEDx Talk last year, to inspire people during the dismal, unpredictable COVID times with stories of women who rose above so many challenges, dreamt big and made those dreams come true. Her husband Dr. Dipak Sheth, is equally warm and kind. You will only hear good things about him. Shaleen, their only child ,has grown up in front of my eyes from a shy teenager to a very talented young woman of substance. She is equally smart, humble and kind.
When I write about community leaders I make sure it is people who are inspiring and positive and don’t hesitate to share their own struggles, so people can learn that the harder you work, the luckier you get. And that you can still make it without hurting others. Manju once said to me, “Negativity makes me feel unwell. I just like to see people happy and surround myself with positivity.”
International womens day is an appropriate time to share her equally inspiring story, because as I said, empowering women has been her passion and she has contributed immensely to that in more than one way.
“I always wanted to tell stories but my mother wanted me to be a doctor. So I became one and it really worked out well for me. I met my husband Dipak in medical college and I love being a doctor.” As the only daughter with two younger brothers, Manju says her parents always made her feel that she could do anything she wanted and that her self worth and self respect were extremely important.
Another lesson they taught her was to always be ethical and to do the right thing. “I have realized over the years that if you do the right thing, life will treat you right. Inside, all of us know when we are about to go off track. But when the intent is pure, the right path starts to reveal itself.”
The only girl in her group to qualify in the British exams, Manju first moved to the UK with Dipak and felt at home in the British culture. “I had studied in convent schools and I love British authors, plays and British television series to this day. So I loved my time in UK, One big difference between being a doctor in Britain and in the USA was that doctors didn’t get sued in Britain. We were trained very differently. We had the time to listen to our patients and what they felt was wrong with them. If you understand their personal history and listen to their feedback, you will know where their ill health comes from. Is it their kids, grand kids, work? I try to do it here as well. I can see immediately the moment an old patient walks in what is wrong with them, and what area of their lives needed the most care.. The US system is excellent but test based. I don’t recall CAT scans being done in Britain though things are changing there as well.”
“But I still believe that when you understand the history of your patients, it is so much easier to connect the dots.”
Manju and Dipak moved to the USA close to three decades ago and after working in New York and Virginia, they made Massachusetts their permanent home. “The quality of doctors in this state is outstanding. I’m grateful that I have worked in so many Harvard hospitals from the beginning and they train you very well.”
Manju had several miscarriages before their daughter Shaleen was born, and motherhood, co-parenting well, took top priority for both Dipak and her. “I never ever looked at her report cards. I didn’t care if Shaleen was in the top 10 or the bottom 10 in her class. For me it was important that we raise a good human being, that she remains close to us, and that she is happy and healthy, Today she has achieved a lot and on her own merit, but even now I tell her ‘Do what makes you happy.’”
Once Shaleen was older, Manju wanted to get involved in community service to help others, especially women. America is not an easy place for immigrants and Manju says losing her parents within a month of each other made her realize how important it was to have a close circle of good friends or be one to others. “I have shared my struggles very candidly over the years, and many times people have come up to me and said ‘I needed to hear that.’ ”
There are times Manju has helped people who she barely knew because they were hospitalized and no friend came forward. “It can get very lonely here and when we help others, the Universe sends us help when we need it.”
Manju’s initial community service began by becoming a member of IMANE (Indian Medical Association of New England) and in one of the meetings it was discussed that there should be a women’s forum. It was here that Manju first met Dr. Deepa Jhaveri who insisted Manju became a part of the forum. Their friendship over the years led them to form their very popular platform Women Who Win with Shaleen. The forum under them was very open to looking at complementary and holistic modalities. Manju had invited me to talk about yogic Pranic healing, a form of energy healing, at one of the events. “If the goal is to make the patient better, and it doesn’t interfere with their treatment, why would you restrict it?” Many top notch hospitals globally have introduced reiki, pranic healing, yoga, ayurveda as a result of open minded physicians like her.
From medicine, community service to media was a natural progression for a woman who loved reading stories and telling them. It began with a column called Movers and Shakers after Manju became IMANE President. She interviewed some of the top physicians who had made their American dream come true. It was after she won “Woman of the Year” that Upendra Mishra (who ran several Boston-based publications) invited her to spearhead, what has nw become the immensely popular online TV show “Chai with Manju.”
Manju has interviewed celebrities from all walks of life and says that what has impressed her the most is the humility of her guests. “They say the tree that bears the largest amount of fruit is the one that bends the most. And I have seen that in famous people as well.”
Manju and Upendra have collaborated on many projects and she has directed Woman of the Year.
” Winning Woman of the year was a huge honor and then directing and hosting it has been a huge privilege.’
In 2016, Manju decided she wanted to create an award show that was all-inclusive and not limited to just women.
“To this day I hope that I will see in my lifetime awards given to a deserving person and not a woman or a man. There should be equality. A relative told me ‘Raise your daughter to be a good wife.’ I said ‘I will raise her to be an accomplished, self-sufficient single woman and if she chooses to marry, it will always be an equal partnership.'”
And with that, NECA (New England Choice Awards) was born. NECA is entering its 10th year and the list of Chief Guests and Keynote speakers has been impressive, from Desh Deshpande, Bob Kraft, Joe Kennedy, Michelle Wu, and last year Indira Nooyi, to name a few. The award winners have been equally incredible people as well as organizations that do good work. Receiving a NECA award has been their launchpad to be in the spotlight. “I believe that if there is a person or an event that is doing something significant, I will find a way to honor them. I love meeting good people and going for good projects. I think I literally know every good organization and people by now.”
Women Who Win is another idea thathas become a great platform to bring together many women of diverse cultures and backgrounds. Each one went on to inspire and uplift others through their stories. “I have always felt that every life has a dream and a story. But women have always had dreams for their families, their kids, their husbands and have left themselves behind. So we decided to go global with this idea where we wanted to showcase stories of inspiring women and how they fulfilled those dreams. It could be the woman next door, or a celebrity. In 5 years we have done 600 stories. And we have not charged a single dollar.”
One of the most informative presentations under the Women Who Win platform was a seminar on being prepared for sudden emergencies. Someone known to Manju had a daughter who, after delivering a baby, went into a sudden cardiac arrest a few days later at home. Luckily her husband was home that day and was able to perform a life saving CPR before the ambulance arrived.
“It made us realize how important it is to be prepared while waiting for the ambulance to arrive, and it led to this workshop.” Another feather in the cap for covering such an important topic
Empowering women is a passion and Manju has done a lot of work in that area, from supporting organizations that deal with womens issues like Saheli Boston and Asian Task Force Against Domestic Violence, to helping people individually.
Her words on women’s issues are thoughtful and thought-provoking.
“I honestly believe that when you empower women, you are empowering families. I think mothers greatly influence their daughters, so they need to be strong role models. I took Shaleen everywhere and I think it has made her want to pay it forward. We have focused on teen stories as well for Women Who Win. I feel that people who are thoughtful and enlightened will always look at women empowerment differently. Today we have so many men who have joined us and have been involved with Saheli for example. I think the MeToo movement was a game changer. But we still have a lot to do in every field as far as women empowerment is concerned.
“There is also a flip side to being raised by a good father and having good brothers. You are not able to see when a narcissist or a negative man enters your life. So women have to be careful. A woman has to recognize a predator and when he can take advantage of her.”
“As far as domestic violence is concerned, it is not just physical, but also psychological. The trauma begins in childhood when a girl is made to feel she is not worth anything, or when her voice is not heard. That childhood trauma leaves deep scars. As an adult we can justify these things, But a child is too small and innocent to process abuse. When a child has not been able to build her self worth and self respect, she will grow into a submissive woman. I’ve had friends from diverse cultures being told by their husbands to find a different job because they were not capable of being a physician in the USA. It’s the same with men. What they see as young boys and how they are treated in childhood affects their mental health as well.”
Cyber bullying is rampant these days. Manju has faced it herself. She says
“And that is when it is important to have self worth. After I became IMANE President, I also started doing community and media work. I was trolled brutally on social media by men and women alike, There was someone who said how can she do all this work and also be a good doctor? I took a pay cut, and lesser work so I could do other meaningful work. But that does not make me a bad doctor. But, I have never harmed anyone or been vindictive. Shaleen asked me once ‘How can you be so nice?’ And I said to her, ‘There may be 10 people out of which 8 may not be kind to you. But then there will be that one person, the ninth or the tenth, who will come and lift you up and change your life. So always be good to people. I also remember what Desh Deshpande had said to me, ‘Your work should be so good that people look bad talking against you.’ I believe in God and personally would never do something where I cannot answer to Him, because we will all meet our maker some day.”
How has COVID changed the way we look at life?
“COVID turned out to be much bigger than we expected. Initially no one knew the magnitude of the disease and I think we still don’t know the long term effects and the damage COVID did, not just physically but also mentally. Studies have shown that mental disorders have gone up post COVID. But I also think the bright side is telehealth. We were able to help so many people and see many more patients during COVID. I think in the long run it will motivate older, experienced and bright senior physicians not to retire. Winters in Boston can be brutal and so many senior physicians may not be able to travel as much with age. But they can be part of telehealth. I personally love that aspect of healthcare,”
What has life taught her so far? Any life lessons to share?
“I feel we must all continuously strive to be a better version of ourselves, to stay curious, work hard. In the end I hope my epitaph would say ‘She tried her best.”
Over the years that I have known her, I think Dr. Manju Sheth has been doing just that.