By Kavita A Chhibber
Arjun Aravind has been on my mind since the past 3 days.
This is long but I needed to share this.
May 8th 2026 morning, I was in tears talking to Chef Vikas Khanna.
About the rise of suicides, depression, and violent acts among South Asian youngsters.
I had been talking to him since mid February to come to the India Business Conference at Kellogg School of Management, and speak. He had been trying to clear his schedule. And even on May 8th when the student organizer Shubham Gupta messaged me that he had agreed, Vikas immediately called me and said it was not a done deal. He was trying. The organizers did not know he had injured his foot, there were other pressing commitments beyond his day to day managing of Bungalow, and he didn’t know how he would manage all that. And still come to Kellogg.
I said to him he MUST take care of himself first and then I broke down.
Not because he may not be able to make it but because the reason why I had wanted him to come and share his story was due to the rising numbers of suicide amongst South Asian children and depression. And Vikas is one of the most positive men, in spite of all the dark days he saw as a young man fighting so many odds.
That week alone I had heard of four young people taking their lives. The youngest was 15.
Tennis legend Vijay Amritraj
was the other person I had contacted and he had immediately agreed to do the keynote firesude chat with me waiving the keynote address. Ive known his family since I was a teenager.
And Vijay too has beaten so many odds.
I felt both these men who I knew very well, were the right role models to teach South Asian parents and children that life is all about doing what makes you happy, and parental support is key. That you may face what may seem impossible odds, but the right environment and parents who dont want you to toe the traditional lines or fear what people would say, can make a huge difference.
But the flip side was also acknowledging that your parents may seem overbearing at times but they can see a bigger picture that you cannot as a teenager. And they are your biggest well wishers.
Vijay was a very sickly child. He was born with lungs that were not normal. He spent the early part of his life in and out of hospitals, while his mother sat in his classes getting notes for him. He was a poor student.
He was taught tennis by a man who only read tennis books, and people laughed at his parents and told the tennis association not to waste their time on him.
His mother said “wait and see , he will be number 1.” Vijay went way beyond that.
Vikas was born with club feet. He was barely 8 days old when his mother took him for surgery. I saw this picture of him as an infant with both legs in bandages. He chose to become a Chef, a lowly profession in those days. He has severe asthma and uses an inhaler. He said to me once that the sandalwood tree has the highest number of snakes on it and that’s what the world of chefs is. You need to deal with a lot of snakes. He did and he tries to protect and mentor as many young chefs as he can.
When his mother was told Vikas will never be able to run, his mother said “It is because he was meant to fly!”
Vikas like Vijay is ALL heart. He heard me cry and said “Im coming”.
Both these men believed that sharing their story to help both the older generation and the younger generation was more important than any honors and business deals that may come their way.
The past three days, reading about Arjun Aravind, seeing his picture splashed everywhere , his lost vacant eyes, the sensationalism, judgment brought more tears. (I am deliberately not posting his picture here out of respect for his family and to avoid further sensationalism.)
Tears that I hid even from Ajit Acharya because his birthday was coming up.
Growing up in an armed forces family, I was told education was the only way out to a better life.
And yes, my mother who was a single parent most of her life because my military man father was always in the frontlines, often said “conduct yourself with dignity otherwise what will people say?”
Glad I was a feisty non conformist and bull headed and did not care. I followed my heart.
Mom was aghast when I interviewed a woman with a so called bad reputation,by visiting her home, or got involved in trying to help a young prostitute who had been kidnapped, and I was all of 19 then.
At 18, I chose to become a sports journalist.The first woman sports journalist in patriarchal India. My career almost came to a halt when a colleague of my dad said ” oh your daughter is pretty and she will “hook” one of those famous men she interviews.” Dad was so upset he said “No more journalism.”
But my parents gave me the biggest gift, the right to speak my mind. I dragged him to meet the sportsmen I had interviewed. It was Pakistani cricketers Majid Khan and Imran Khan, who said to him “Everyone is scared of your daughter. You dont have to worry about her”. Dad still sent a commando with me. And my career continued.
I wanted to become a doctor. There was no biology lab.’ I switched to liberal arts. Dad didn’t like it. But thankfully he let me be.
But when my daughter Nishita was born, I was that typical Indian parent. “What? You got 98 out of 100?”What happened to the other 2 marks?”
Until she said to me one day ” Mom, people who dont go to Harvard or MIT, dont they have a life?”
That got my head back in place.
By the time my son Gautam was born and asked me “What do you want me to be?” My answer was “A good human being”.
By the time my youngest Pranavi was born, my response to her ” I didnt feel like taking the test today. So I failed”, was “Thats okay. No one starves in this country. You can always become a truck driver.”
That made my older daughter exclaim “Are you that same woman who questioned me on 2 marks?” Lol.
Im reading reports that Arjun was a super achiever. As if that ensures stability, balance or success. But it sure creates envy and judgment.
I have spoken to far too many young people at Ivy league schools battling nervous breakdowns and depression, to not know the price many kids pay to get in. Financial, emotional, psychological.
Arjun’s entire family consisted of good people.
But no one comes with a PhD in how to be the best parent, husband, wife, child.
Children between the ages of 12 to 18 are struggling with hormonal changes, brain development, raw emotions.
What happens when they are overwhelmed.
How should parents react?
We Indians, still think discussing mental health issues are immediate grounds for being ostracized.
People still hesitate when it comes to therapy.
Or even changing attitudes and life style.
As I look at the latest reports and Arjun’s empty eyes, Im tearing up again and keep wishing that time could reverse and timely help could have been sought.
My heart goes out to both the father, who has lost his wife and younger son, but also the older son who is still a minor. Psychiatric evaluation is going to be part of the process but the wounds that could have been avoided will remain forever.
I can only pray that we fix a healthcare system that is terribly broken and that the community does not take mental illness lightly.
And also that if we can offer anything, I hope its empathy. Judgment based on presumption is cruelty.